Stalkers Auditions

Songs

Shine

Juno and dance troupe

Juno on the mic. Do you see her?
Do you see me? Or just what you want to see.
Open your eyes

Do you see me for only me
Or just what you want to see?
Am I your sweet a tasty treat
Some kind of fantasy?

I’m not an object to gratify misogyny
I am entitled to satisfy my destiny

I am a diamond I shine (shine a light on me)
I am a beacon I shine (shine a light on me)
I am my true self I shine (shine)

I don’t conform I don’t comply
I don’t follow hypocrisy
You stand and watch and wonder why
You’re just a wannabe me

I’m not an object to gratify misogyny
I am entitled to satisfy my destiny

I am a diamond I shine (shine a light on me)
I am a beacon I shine (shine a light on me)
I am my true self I shine (shine)

I don’t need you to just protect me
Or at your beck and your call
I need to know if you can respect me
I am your equal in all

Check on the mic like a man archetypal
Gonna let you know I’m your living disciple
Girl, go where you go ev’ry minute and hour
Cos girl you the shit you the one with the power

Juno the one with ya booty sublime an’
You shine in the sky like Lucy with diamonds
If I’m like a book you be turning my pages
You turn me to stone you’re the rock of all ages

I am a diamond I shine (shine a light on me)
I am a beacon I shine (shine a light on me)
I am my true self I shine (shine)

Who Will Break My Fall

Ensemble

I loved you more, see no one else was before me
I was your first, best fan
Not like these others, the sisters and brothers
Who followed along like sheep.

And then at length you so gave me the strength to
Just believe in me
Deny all the cynics berating your lyrics
You only spoke to me

Now the dream is all over who will break my fall?

Big heart emoji cos I was the OG
One who discovered you 
So soon to click, I was your Junatic
And I will love you till the end of time

Now something strange is my psych rearranges
Listening to your songs
Your music’s a health bomb, I no longer self harm
Because of the strength you bring

Now the dream is all over who will break my fall?
Shine your light on me

You, you were no one, nobody knew, no one had heard of Juno
Then, you came to grow, you shone your light, suddenly everyone knew your name
Your life was never gonna be the same

I’m lighting this candle to burn away scandal
That surely now will come
They’ll all go berserk as the media circus
Pulls your life apart

They’ll be demeaning, they won’t get the meaning
Of all the things you sang
The light that you gift us to help and uplift us
Was all that kept me sane

Now the dream is all over who will wake me?
Who will wake me
Now it’s all over who will break my fall?
Shine your light on me
I loved you more

Speed Dating

Ensemble, Stalkers

I’ve never been that lucky with the boys that I have met
It always seems to end with so much anger and regret
With ev’ryone there comes a time they won’t see me no more
That’s when I leave them bleeding on the floor

I still live with my mother for the money that it saves
She likes to keep me sated with the meals she microwaves
She always meets my ladies with a smile at our front door
Then later she and I discuss your score

I like to ride my pony every time I get the chance
It leaves me little time to go in search of some romance
And all the boys I speak to say there’s next to no allure
In being elbows deep in horse manure

I always tell my best mate that he’s such a flamin’ wuss
There ain’t no joy in life if you are just monogamous
I like to shag as many girls as I can every night
And you can shag me too if you play your cards right

M:    I’m a massive Junatic I hope that you are too
F:    I bet I was a fan of Juno way before you
F:    I followed her on socials
M:    And earlier you’ll find
M:    I saw her at a Soho club before she had been signed

F:    Don’t question my devotion or you’ll get me at my worst
M:    I’m simply pointing out to you that I found Juno first
F:    I can’t believe your rudeness you are such an ignoramus
M:    I was a fan before she was famous
F:    I was a fan before she was famous

Both:
I thought Juno’s music was supposed to reunite
And now that I’ve met you I understand that that is shite
I guess I’ve learned a lesson to not invoke the wrath
Of a Junatic mad psychopath

Totally Hot

Stalkers

What is occurring there’s something that’s stirring
Within me that scares me to death
Oh so revealing a romantic feeling
Increasing with every breath.

A punishment glutton he pushes my button
So hard that you’d think it would break
He’s such a big kidder it’s daft to consider
Potentially my greatest mistake

He can’t be the one
When all is said and done
He isn’t all that
He’s such a massive twat

Can’t seem to sleep, can’t seem to think
He takes me up to and over the brink
I might be mad, I could be gone
But it annoys me that he turns me on
He thinks he’s cute he thinks he’s smart
He thinks he’s found a way into my heart
Yes he is fun, yes he is fit
Totally hot and annoying as shit

She chews on my ear with a smug fucking sneer
Designed as a witty rebuke
So gets on my nerves that she drains my reserves
Till I feel like I’ll actually puke.

Feeling so queasy it isn’t that easy
To simply just try be polite
I tried and ignored but like nails on a blackboard
It’s so hard to block out her shite

She can’t be the one
When all is said and done
Unnecessarily blunt
She’s such a massive great

Can’t seem to sleep can’t seem to think
She takes me up to and over the brink
I might be mad, I could be gone
But it annoys me that she turns me on
She thinks she’s cute she thinks she’s smart
She thinks she’s found a way into my heart
Yes she is fun, yes she is fit
Totally hot and annoying as shit

Let It All Go

Manager

They’re talking to me like I don’t hear a word they say
They say the same old stuff to me day after every day
The words are diff’rent but the meaning’s just the same
I know where they’re going by the tone when they say my name.

It doesn’t matter if you’re wrong when you think you’re right
It makes no diff’rence cos it just gets you all up tight
If we could all let go we’d make this a better place
Then maybe you could chill and get out of my face

Let it all go let it all go baby,
Let it all go baby let it all go now

It’s no surprise to me the world is just so tense
With ev’rybody primed for maximum offence
Are babies born with all these politics entrenched?
Is there a way to get all Gen Z to unclench?

I wonder when we all became belligerent
When will the finger pointing cease?
They somehow claim it’s in the name of tolerance
They need to a way to just release

Let it all go let it all go baby,
Let it all go baby let it all go now

Don’t pip at me I’m an old fashioned bloke
Screw all the kids who claim they’re woke
Cancel yourselves you’re an absolute joke
Wearing PC like a velvet cloak
I not gonna burn in the fire you stoke
I’m promoting the art you try to choke
Dressed in a suit that’s totally bespoke
Rich as shit till the day I croak

I wonder when we all became belligerent
When will the finger pointing cease?
They somehow claim it’s in the name of tolerance
They need to a way to just release

Let it all go let it all go baby,
Let it all go baby let it all go now

In My Dreams

Juno's PA

If I told you that I love you
Would you tell me that you care too?
Cos I need you like you need me
We're so care free in my dreams

When you hold me when I'm hurting
Do you mean it, are you flirting?
Cos I need you like you need me
We're so care free in my dreams

Does it feel the same when you hear me say your name?
Or do you not realise that there's something in my eyes?
I need to know you care do you even know I'm there
I need to hear you say you care

When you leave here when the night's through
Do you think of me like I think of you?
Cos I need you like you need me
We're so care free in my dreams

Do you make believe in a different life
I could be your bae, you could be my wife?
Do you need me like I need you?
Are you care free in your dreams?

Does it feel the same when you hear me say your name?
Or do you not realise that there's something in my eyes?
I need to know you care do you even know
I'm there I need to hear you say you care

Just tell me that you love me
That you'll take me from this nightmare that I live in
Put your arms around me right there or I'll give in
To the voices that are telling me no more

Does it feel the same when you hear me call your name?
Or do you not realise that there's something in my eyes?
I need to know you care do you even know I'm there
I need to hear you say you care

Tell me that you love me oh won't you tell me that you care?
Tell me that you want me by your side until you die until you die
Tell me that you love me oh won't you tell me if you care?
Tell me that you want me by your side or I will die

Does it feel the same when you hear me call your name?
Or do you not realise that there's something in my eyes?
I need to know you care do you even know I'm there
I need to hear you say you care

 Heart and Soul

Juno's Boyfriend

Am I running around?
You know better than that.
You say it's getting you down
Well I am turning them flat oh yeah

You say your heart's on the line
I say it's not even near
You say oh won't you say mine?
Well you won't get to my freedom no

You get my heart and my soul but you don't get my freedom no
You get my body to hold but you don't get my mind you get
All that you see but you don't get my spirit no
Just hold on to me but you won't tie me down

Why do I never stay home?
Why do you turn out the light?
Why don't you leave it alone?
I'm gonna love you tonight

With all the times that I've told you
What it is that you mean to mean
I have always reminded
That I intend to stay free

You get my heart and my soul but you don't get my freedom no
You get my body to hold but you don't get my mind you get
All that you see but you don't get my spirit no
Just hold on to me but you won't tie me down

Am I running around?
You know better than that.
You say it's getting you down
Well I am turning them flat oh yeah

With all the times that I've told you
What it is that you mean to mean
I have always reminded
That I intend to stay free

You get my heart and my soul but you don't get my freedom no
You get my body to hold but you don't get my mind you get
All that you see but you don't get my spirit no
Just hold on to me but you won't tie me down

Doctor in the House

Doctor and ensemble

Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for your favourite celebrity MD Doctor Luke!

Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house
Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house

Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house
Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house

Excuse me, sir, do you have an appointment?

You can't see the doctor
I'm sooo busy
You can't see the doctor
I'm very important you know

Take one of these three times a day with or before a meal

You can't see the doctor
I'm very important you know

Vaccination!

You can't see the doctor
You can't see the doctor

Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house
Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house

Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house
Who's in the house?
Doctor's in the house

Loser

Boyfriend's Mother / Manager, Boyfriend

You took the best of my only three score and ten
And if I had the choice I wouldn’t do it all again
You ain’t your mother’s son, not a chip off the old block
Wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t as dumb as the dumbest rock

I’ve been your manager all these long, long years
What do I have to show ‘cept for blood sweat and tears
Time has took its toll and my face is lined
But still I wouldn’t care if you had some talent of any kind

And I’m working ev’ry day
Bringing latitude your way
It’s a pretty thankless task
To the point where I have to ask

What do you have to show for
What do you have to show for
What do you have to show for
Your time on this earth?

The things I’ve gone without the sacrifice I made
Just to watch you waste it on cars and getting laid
I’ve reached my limit now I can’t be going on
You’ll realise you had it made the minute that I’m gone

I ain’t wasting no more time
I ain’t spending another dime
Unless you buck up your ideas
Pay me back for all of these years

What do you have to show for
What do you have to show for
What do you have to show for
Your time on this earth?

You can badger me and call me your names
I didn’t ask to take part in celebrity games
I didn’t want this path it’s not the one I chose
I ain’t gonna worry if it’s a book you wanna close

You been pushing all my life
You’re the source of all my strife
Walk away suits me just fine
My life will once again me mine

Keeping it real
Making you feel
Striking a deal
And finding my worth

Mummy Dearest

Juno's PA

All my life you cared for me and cooked for me and carried me
And now it’s time for you to take a rest
All the things you’ve done for me and things you sacrificed for me
And still I cried and put you the test

And how I did protest
You could never win
And you never needed to

I remember Daddy died and all the nights you cried and cried
I didn’t have a clue what I should do
Much too young to understand I simply sat and held your hand
You smiled through tears and said “love you”

And how I miss you now
You were always there
Always there for me

Mummy dearest you have always been around for me
You have always been the rock on which I stand
Mummy dearest how your love has just astounded me
And I miss you so

Then throughout my troubled teens you demonstrated what it means
To bite your lip and watch me make mistakes
Still you didn’t criticise although you often rolled your eyes
You hugged me tight and whispered “them’s the breaks”

And piece by piece you left
Till one winter’s day
You had gone

And I miss you so
I need you now
More than ever
I can’t carry on

I need you here
To comfort me
To guide me
Please tell me what to do

I can’t carry on
Without you here
I don’t want to
If you’re no longer here

Mummy dearest you have always been around for me
You have always been the rock on which I stand
Mummy dearest how your love has just astounded me
And I miss you so

Mobster At Your Door

Mobster / Accountant

What if you find that you are in trouble?
Who do you turn to then?
One day your office reduced to rubble
Can you rebuild again?
Fire brigade says the reason is arson
Mate, if they take that stance?
I doubt it’s likely they would incarcerate
Can you take the chance?

You just need someone you can rely on
We could be just the friends you need and now

We could be there for you
How we would care for you
Answers prepared for you
Alibis sweared for you

We can cook books for you
Deal with the crooks for you
Let off some hooks for you
You just have to say yes

What if you find your beautiful daughter
Falls for a dodgy guy?
One day she finds herself in deep water
Will you be asking why
You did no-ot accept my proposal
Who do you turn to then?
Who do you use for boyfriend disposal?
We are those business men

And what if it all goes wrong?
Don’t you worry my friend
Don’t know that I am that strong
We’ll be pals till the end
Have I a say or a voice?
You’ll be safe in our hands
Don’t see that I have a choice
Now the man understands

You would be there for me
How you would care for me
Answers prepared for me
Alibis sweared for me

You can cook books for me
Deal with the crooks for me
Let off some hooks for me
Here I am saying yes

You won’t regret it my friend
Think I already am
All of your needs we will tend
Now I’m in such a jam
There is no need for a fuss
Find myself in a scrape
You are now just one of us
Wish that I could escape 

Spend It!

Manager's Wife

Somebody sang you can’t buy me love
That really depends on which you’re speaking of
Affairs of the heart are such balderdash
All I need is some cold hard cash

My tastes are expensive, extravagant
Totally luscious, I’m adamant
I’m only seduced by a man who’s flash
With a big fat wad of sexy cash

Don’t bother buy me flowers
My affections aren’t that hard
Just woo me with your powers:
Put my name on your platinum card 

Money money money’s such sexy talk
Money money money pops my champagne cork
Money money money you can’t end it
So what I say is - spend it!

I don’t care about the birds and the bees
Cos I know money don’t grow on trees
Just give me a man prepared to splash
His big fat load of filthy cash

The big man upstairs he elucidates
You can’t take it with you through them pearly gates
So while I’m alive I’ll get neck whiplash
From a wealthy man with loads of cash

Don’t bother buy me flowers
My affections ain’t that hard
Just woo me with your powers:
Put my name on your platinum card 

Money money money’s such sexy talk
Money money money pops my champagne cork
Money money money you can’t end it
So what I say is - spend it!

Don’t bother buy me flowers
My affections aren’t that hard to buy
Just woo me with your powers:
Put my name on your platinum card 

Money money money’s such sexy talk
Money money money pops my champagne cork
Money money money you can’t end it
You can vend it, you can send it,
Can’t end it or pretend it
So all I say is
Spend it!